Facing fears and letting go.

Connecting to my life

That’s right, letting go. You may think of that song from Frozen, “Let it go,” (which our team sang halfway back from the bay Friday night) or you may think of letting go of a child to let them ride without training wheels. For me, letting go of having control over things has been a theme this whole week.

Overall, I would say that I am a very type A, everything goes here, everyone does this, this is the way things are done. I learned very early on that I LOVE being in charge of people. Ever since I can remember I taught stuffed animals, organized clubs, made secret groups, and told people how to do things. Not always or neccessarily in a bossy way, just in a way that I felt could get done acceptably and most people were agreeable.

Even though I couldn’t always control all aspects of my life, I always have felt that atleast 1 aspect, I am in charge. For example, when I moved into college, their were a lot of new things. Everything was scary and felt out of control. When classes began, I knew that if anything, my grades could be in my control. I could do that. Working really hard on school all year seemed to work, but when the second semester came around, abunch of new challeges came along. Those grades were no longer as easy to control, I still did very well, but other things suffered like socialness, bible time, and even eating sometimes. I think that is what is designed by God to happen when we think we have the ability to do things in our own strength.

Connecting to Puerto Rico

Friday night our team went kayaking in biobay. It was such a cool experience. I would explain it as sparks in the water when you touch it. I road with Johanna and she was steered. I had NO control. Well, ask a control freak how well that goes! We got hit multiple times by other kayakers, mostly the fault of them. It was very frustrating when we couldn’t really do anything to move. It showed me though, that sometimes you have to be flexible and even if you are frustrated and impatient, it may be best to just wait it out and see what happens. Sometimes you just have to trust someone else or God to take care of you. 

I also found it interesting that a source of great anxiety to me, meeting and forming bonds with the students, is so very easy. It’s
like the language barrier is not even a thing. The students really just want love and attention. They really seem to appreciate our attempts to learn sign language and get to know them. For example, the sisters, Yajaira and Maria, are around a lot. They really wanted to play games with us and it was a really tiring day, but we decided to play with them and I don’t regret a single second of it. I’m so glad we got to spend time with these beautiful girls. After letting go and being okay with making some mistakes, our communication opened up and we are now able to piece together conversations.

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Lastly, going to the rainforest was a serious adventure. I had to really talk myself up to go on this trip. Ms. Betsy warned us of rain, flash floods, and walking distances. I really reminded myself again and again that I would be wet, tired, and maybe not get to swim after traveling to the jungle. When we hiked through the jungle, there was a steady stream of rain all day. I was soaked, head to toe, though there was no swimming on the trip. I had a really good attitude and had a lot of fun seeing God’s creation. Afterwards we stopped at the beach for a nice relaxer after the hike and rain. I think this is another parallel to our faith. Keeping a positive attitude in the storms in life (and really anytime in life) can make a situation better and God will reward hard work, even if it isn’t later that afternoon. 

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 Thank you for your prayers and for being a faithful reader of our blog, stay tuned for more later this week.

 

Lyla

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lyla14538

I am a music education major at Messiah College. I play flute, double bass, and violin in multiple ensembles at the college.

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